Two sides to every coin

It's interesting to me that since I've been an intern here in Denver that I've not been able to get away from the homeless population. This, by no means, is a bad thing, it's just something that has stuck out to me in a big way. Not only do I work with the homeless, I live with them and I go to church with them.

Tonight I had a great time at church. I went to a leadership class there and we focused mainly on the fact that Community is central to the Christian identity. How truthful is that? Don't we classify ourselves by whom we hang out with. Life is all about community in both christian and secular settings. Even God is in community with the Trinity. We crave community in friends, family, husbands and wives, etc.

We focused tonight on what it means to facilitate discussion groups. Tonight was a leadership group targeted towards those who would like to take on the role of leadership within out church. I love the church [the church is the people not the meeting place] and I would like to at least be able to take on the role of a leader when necessary or when prompted. I enjoyed the 3 hour group.

One of the main activities we did towards the end of the night. was to "practice" facilitating a group discussion. So we met in groups of 4 and each of us picked a question out of a list provided and did the "facilitation" of the question. This list of questions was pretty intense. The four questions we asked were
..."Where do you draw the line between helping people and showing them how to help themseves? How do you strike a balance"
..."To what extent is your view of God influenced by your view of your father?"
..."How would you prefer to die - quickly without warning or slowly over time?"
..."What is the ideal age to get married? Why?"

The answers given by each member [including the senior pastor] were very interesting and insightful. For instance, the one about dying was particularly involved and revealing of one's character. I believe that the other three said they would prefer to die quickly. I, because of the situation with Pops [my dad] and him dying of cancer, chose to die slowly over time. One has to think a long time about this question. For me, it was simple. I remember how much I appreciated those last months with Pops and all the talks we got to have, the questions I was able to ask and get answers for, and the ability to have some sort of closure. Did dying slowly suck, absolutely. Did it pain me to the depths; Yes. But, was is worth it? Like nothing else.

I asked the last question in the group about drawing the line, and it was a great discussion and very thought provoking. God is a great God and really drove the point home.

Earlier in the session, I was outside with Teresa, from CH, and we were talking about how this seminar was pertinent to our lives and how she doesn't think this is the right church for her because they don't believe in having women pastors and teresa has felt the calling to be a youth pastor from her high school days and knows she wouldn't be able to do that here. Needless to say, she was feeling discouraged.

While we were out talking, a homeless lady came up to us asking for money. Teresa gave her a dollar. I had some money in my wallet in the meeting place but didn't want to give her any. All she was asking for was money - not food or water and I have learned from past experiences that homeless people who do that are not looking for nourishment, they are looking for drugs or alcohol.

Anyway, I went inside to get her some pepsi and brought it out to her. She asked what was going on inside and we told her and she decided to go inside. I'm glad she did. After all of that, while I was asking this question she came up to our group and asked Jay [the pastor] for some help - some money. Sadly, it was a great example to the question of how to draw that line. I suggested that in order to draw that line, you have to question the need of the person you would like to help. You almost have to do some background digging. Is this person honest, truthful and earnest about what they need and why they need it. Does this person desire to change? Or will they just use you until they find someone else?

The way that God teaches is often bewildering. He likes to throw real life situations into the mix and make us deal with it.

Question to take into consideration:
...When does the end justify the means?

"Blessed are those who dependo n the God of Jacob for help.
Blessed are those who put their hope in the Lord their God.
He is hte maker of heaven and earth and the ocean.
He made everything in them.
The Lord reminas faithful forever
He stands up for those who are beated down.
He gives food to hungry people.
The Lord sets prisoners free.
The Lord gives sight to those who are blind.
The Lord lifts up those who feel helpless.
The Lord loves those who do what is right.
The Lord watches over the outsiders who live in outr land.
He takes good care of children whose fathers have died.
he also takes good care of widows.
But he causes evil peopel to fail in everyhting they do.
-Psalm 146:3-9

with love, blessings and a grateful heart

when God works through us to touch another

Today I learned a lot about how God's timing is perfect.

I have a resident [Sarah*name has been changed] here who needed rental assistance - a money voucher to pay a portion of her rent here. She told me about this last week and in turn I gave her an application to one of the local organizations [HHH] that pay for 25% of the rent if the tenant pays for the other 75%.

I played phone tag with a lady at HHH and never really got anywhere. During this time I had Sarah* breathing down my neck because I was not replying to her phone calls [which I got about 3 times a week, sometiems even twice a day]. I had told her that when I knew something I would give her a call and since I still didn't know anything, I didn't call her regarding it.

Today, after about a week and a half of playing phone tag with , I finally gave in and decided to give the HHH lady my email address over the phone. That finally did the trick! She emailed me very soon after that to tell me that she had just phoned in the order to cut the check for Sarah*. I was so relieved for this! Today, Sarah's* rent was due. She just started a new job as a teacher and because of the school's start date, Sarah* doesn't have an income for the month of July [basically]. If this voucher had not come in, Sarah* [and her two children] would have been asked to leave for at least 30 days.

I called Sarah* to let her know the fantastic news and she was so thankful for this provision.

Praise God that his timing is always perfect, even when we have to wait until our last minute to receive his giftings. It's not good to doubt, but there is always a certain curiosity when it comes to having things one needs provided for as to when it is going to come through.

with love, blessing and a joyful heart

Key Cards

So, I counted today, and instead of having the normal amount of key cards in order to get into my room, I had a ridiculously large amount. Instead of having one, I had ten. Yep, I am a key card horder. Sometimes I just can't help it. I leave my key card in my room and then go down to get another one.
It's gotten worse since I figured out how to work the key machine so now I can make my own room keys and not have that accountability to bring it back down...

Today one of my clients left for a different housing. I am happy for her. Granted she did not gradaute the program or anything and wasn't really able to work it in regards to her savings account, but she is getting out of here. So, good for her.

I might add that this was one of my hardest clients. Through her I learned that not everyone appreciates the work that I do and some people probably feel that I could be doing a lot more to help them. The first couple meetings that we had together were okay. The last 3 - not so hot. She made it clear to me that I wasn't acting like the type of person [Christian] she thought I should.

For the past 2 or 3 months, she has been struggling with working a lot, not getting a lot of sleep and not making enough money to eat after paying her rent. When she was going through this, i did not know that I had the ability to give out food vouchers. I just recently found this out about 3 weeks ago. By this time she already had a second job and was now doing a lot better that previously. It is with this job that she is now moving out, going somewhere. Hopefully this is a place that she succeeds in and that she can find some sort of positive insight into things.

This was a lady that I wasn't really able to connect with. I don't know why not, I just know that we never clicked. This was really tough for me because I am a people pleaser and I enjoy being around others. I like to think that I am funny [most of the time] and most people laugh at the things that I say [or at the least they are laughing at me, which I still enjoy and can handle]. This lady did not, ever. It is not that I resent her for this fact, becuase i absolutely do not. I understand [now] that not everyone is going to like you. Most of the time this is due to matters that are outside of one's control. It could be a character flaw or perhaps there is something about myself that rubs her the wrong way. I have no clue. I do know, however, that this is one of the biggest learning experiences that I have had in a while.

That all being said, I really do wish her the best and pray that she follows God whom loves her more than anything. Would you, too, pray for her? Pray that God's mercy and grace would be bestowed upon her and that she would continue to find steady employment that provides her with the ability to pay her rent, to eat, and to also do things that give her rest and rejuvenation? Pray that she would continue to stay in line with the expectations that her PO have for her. That she would stay away from drugs and alcohol even if/when the temptation to give in is high. Pray that God would keep a protective shield around her to stop any unwanted contact from those whom she considers strangers.

with love, blessings, and a grateful heart

On today's episode of Around This Place

It's amazing to me how easily life can turn into one big soap opera...

Living in transitional housing with families, seniors, and singles takes a wearing out of one's soul.

There are days when living here is good and revives my soul, but there seem to be more and more days when living here takes a toll on me that I have a hard time replenishing.

I usually love hanging out with people, but am finding myself becoming more secluded and turning away from the hustle and bustle of life here. This is not always a bad thing regarding most people, but for me I think this is detrimental to who I am and how I live my life.



On the other flip of the coin, living here, a lot of times, is a whole lot of fun. I enjoy getting to know people and to hear of their stories. I find a lot of people would prefer that you listen to them, rather than talk over them or give them advice... So many people have a story to tell and get really tired of others thinking that they know it already. I have a problem with that sometimes. I think that I know who a person is and where they are coming from and I am usually wrong. I find that we all feel that our stories are important and often times telling them comes at the expense of allowing us to get to know other people.

Living a portion of my life here shows me that regardless of where one goes to live there is always going to be drama. This can be both exciting and disappointing, depending on the topic of it. I think that growing up people beleive that drama ends with high school which is entirely untrue. Life is a throwing together of drama and, oftentimes, politics.

I have learned quite a lot about myself since being here. I have figured out that I enjyo being right and I dislike immensely beign told what to do when it interferes with my ethics and values. I have understood the importance of seeing things from two opposing view points; issues are not always black and white - rather there is a lot of grey that colors different situations. This difference is not always bad. I have realized that most people have good intentions. It is just that quite a few of thsoe with good intentions somehow get misled along the way.

It is in these grey areas and these good intentions with bad consequences, that we learn the most about ourselves and realize things that we might never have learned just by seeing and labeling situations, emotions, reasons, thought processes, etc., as black and white. It is through viewing these different areas in a grey shade we are able to come to our own conclusions about how things should, or should not - for that matter, work and/or be run.