Two sides to every coin

It's interesting to me that since I've been an intern here in Denver that I've not been able to get away from the homeless population. This, by no means, is a bad thing, it's just something that has stuck out to me in a big way. Not only do I work with the homeless, I live with them and I go to church with them.

Tonight I had a great time at church. I went to a leadership class there and we focused mainly on the fact that Community is central to the Christian identity. How truthful is that? Don't we classify ourselves by whom we hang out with. Life is all about community in both christian and secular settings. Even God is in community with the Trinity. We crave community in friends, family, husbands and wives, etc.

We focused tonight on what it means to facilitate discussion groups. Tonight was a leadership group targeted towards those who would like to take on the role of leadership within out church. I love the church [the church is the people not the meeting place] and I would like to at least be able to take on the role of a leader when necessary or when prompted. I enjoyed the 3 hour group.

One of the main activities we did towards the end of the night. was to "practice" facilitating a group discussion. So we met in groups of 4 and each of us picked a question out of a list provided and did the "facilitation" of the question. This list of questions was pretty intense. The four questions we asked were
..."Where do you draw the line between helping people and showing them how to help themseves? How do you strike a balance"
..."To what extent is your view of God influenced by your view of your father?"
..."How would you prefer to die - quickly without warning or slowly over time?"
..."What is the ideal age to get married? Why?"

The answers given by each member [including the senior pastor] were very interesting and insightful. For instance, the one about dying was particularly involved and revealing of one's character. I believe that the other three said they would prefer to die quickly. I, because of the situation with Pops [my dad] and him dying of cancer, chose to die slowly over time. One has to think a long time about this question. For me, it was simple. I remember how much I appreciated those last months with Pops and all the talks we got to have, the questions I was able to ask and get answers for, and the ability to have some sort of closure. Did dying slowly suck, absolutely. Did it pain me to the depths; Yes. But, was is worth it? Like nothing else.

I asked the last question in the group about drawing the line, and it was a great discussion and very thought provoking. God is a great God and really drove the point home.

Earlier in the session, I was outside with Teresa, from CH, and we were talking about how this seminar was pertinent to our lives and how she doesn't think this is the right church for her because they don't believe in having women pastors and teresa has felt the calling to be a youth pastor from her high school days and knows she wouldn't be able to do that here. Needless to say, she was feeling discouraged.

While we were out talking, a homeless lady came up to us asking for money. Teresa gave her a dollar. I had some money in my wallet in the meeting place but didn't want to give her any. All she was asking for was money - not food or water and I have learned from past experiences that homeless people who do that are not looking for nourishment, they are looking for drugs or alcohol.

Anyway, I went inside to get her some pepsi and brought it out to her. She asked what was going on inside and we told her and she decided to go inside. I'm glad she did. After all of that, while I was asking this question she came up to our group and asked Jay [the pastor] for some help - some money. Sadly, it was a great example to the question of how to draw that line. I suggested that in order to draw that line, you have to question the need of the person you would like to help. You almost have to do some background digging. Is this person honest, truthful and earnest about what they need and why they need it. Does this person desire to change? Or will they just use you until they find someone else?

The way that God teaches is often bewildering. He likes to throw real life situations into the mix and make us deal with it.

Question to take into consideration:
...When does the end justify the means?

"Blessed are those who dependo n the God of Jacob for help.
Blessed are those who put their hope in the Lord their God.
He is hte maker of heaven and earth and the ocean.
He made everything in them.
The Lord reminas faithful forever
He stands up for those who are beated down.
He gives food to hungry people.
The Lord sets prisoners free.
The Lord gives sight to those who are blind.
The Lord lifts up those who feel helpless.
The Lord loves those who do what is right.
The Lord watches over the outsiders who live in outr land.
He takes good care of children whose fathers have died.
he also takes good care of widows.
But he causes evil peopel to fail in everyhting they do.
-Psalm 146:3-9

with love, blessings and a grateful heart

when God works through us to touch another

Today I learned a lot about how God's timing is perfect.

I have a resident [Sarah*name has been changed] here who needed rental assistance - a money voucher to pay a portion of her rent here. She told me about this last week and in turn I gave her an application to one of the local organizations [HHH] that pay for 25% of the rent if the tenant pays for the other 75%.

I played phone tag with a lady at HHH and never really got anywhere. During this time I had Sarah* breathing down my neck because I was not replying to her phone calls [which I got about 3 times a week, sometiems even twice a day]. I had told her that when I knew something I would give her a call and since I still didn't know anything, I didn't call her regarding it.

Today, after about a week and a half of playing phone tag with , I finally gave in and decided to give the HHH lady my email address over the phone. That finally did the trick! She emailed me very soon after that to tell me that she had just phoned in the order to cut the check for Sarah*. I was so relieved for this! Today, Sarah's* rent was due. She just started a new job as a teacher and because of the school's start date, Sarah* doesn't have an income for the month of July [basically]. If this voucher had not come in, Sarah* [and her two children] would have been asked to leave for at least 30 days.

I called Sarah* to let her know the fantastic news and she was so thankful for this provision.

Praise God that his timing is always perfect, even when we have to wait until our last minute to receive his giftings. It's not good to doubt, but there is always a certain curiosity when it comes to having things one needs provided for as to when it is going to come through.

with love, blessing and a joyful heart

Key Cards

So, I counted today, and instead of having the normal amount of key cards in order to get into my room, I had a ridiculously large amount. Instead of having one, I had ten. Yep, I am a key card horder. Sometimes I just can't help it. I leave my key card in my room and then go down to get another one.
It's gotten worse since I figured out how to work the key machine so now I can make my own room keys and not have that accountability to bring it back down...

Today one of my clients left for a different housing. I am happy for her. Granted she did not gradaute the program or anything and wasn't really able to work it in regards to her savings account, but she is getting out of here. So, good for her.

I might add that this was one of my hardest clients. Through her I learned that not everyone appreciates the work that I do and some people probably feel that I could be doing a lot more to help them. The first couple meetings that we had together were okay. The last 3 - not so hot. She made it clear to me that I wasn't acting like the type of person [Christian] she thought I should.

For the past 2 or 3 months, she has been struggling with working a lot, not getting a lot of sleep and not making enough money to eat after paying her rent. When she was going through this, i did not know that I had the ability to give out food vouchers. I just recently found this out about 3 weeks ago. By this time she already had a second job and was now doing a lot better that previously. It is with this job that she is now moving out, going somewhere. Hopefully this is a place that she succeeds in and that she can find some sort of positive insight into things.

This was a lady that I wasn't really able to connect with. I don't know why not, I just know that we never clicked. This was really tough for me because I am a people pleaser and I enjoy being around others. I like to think that I am funny [most of the time] and most people laugh at the things that I say [or at the least they are laughing at me, which I still enjoy and can handle]. This lady did not, ever. It is not that I resent her for this fact, becuase i absolutely do not. I understand [now] that not everyone is going to like you. Most of the time this is due to matters that are outside of one's control. It could be a character flaw or perhaps there is something about myself that rubs her the wrong way. I have no clue. I do know, however, that this is one of the biggest learning experiences that I have had in a while.

That all being said, I really do wish her the best and pray that she follows God whom loves her more than anything. Would you, too, pray for her? Pray that God's mercy and grace would be bestowed upon her and that she would continue to find steady employment that provides her with the ability to pay her rent, to eat, and to also do things that give her rest and rejuvenation? Pray that she would continue to stay in line with the expectations that her PO have for her. That she would stay away from drugs and alcohol even if/when the temptation to give in is high. Pray that God would keep a protective shield around her to stop any unwanted contact from those whom she considers strangers.

with love, blessings, and a grateful heart

On today's episode of Around This Place

It's amazing to me how easily life can turn into one big soap opera...

Living in transitional housing with families, seniors, and singles takes a wearing out of one's soul.

There are days when living here is good and revives my soul, but there seem to be more and more days when living here takes a toll on me that I have a hard time replenishing.

I usually love hanging out with people, but am finding myself becoming more secluded and turning away from the hustle and bustle of life here. This is not always a bad thing regarding most people, but for me I think this is detrimental to who I am and how I live my life.



On the other flip of the coin, living here, a lot of times, is a whole lot of fun. I enjoy getting to know people and to hear of their stories. I find a lot of people would prefer that you listen to them, rather than talk over them or give them advice... So many people have a story to tell and get really tired of others thinking that they know it already. I have a problem with that sometimes. I think that I know who a person is and where they are coming from and I am usually wrong. I find that we all feel that our stories are important and often times telling them comes at the expense of allowing us to get to know other people.

Living a portion of my life here shows me that regardless of where one goes to live there is always going to be drama. This can be both exciting and disappointing, depending on the topic of it. I think that growing up people beleive that drama ends with high school which is entirely untrue. Life is a throwing together of drama and, oftentimes, politics.

I have learned quite a lot about myself since being here. I have figured out that I enjyo being right and I dislike immensely beign told what to do when it interferes with my ethics and values. I have understood the importance of seeing things from two opposing view points; issues are not always black and white - rather there is a lot of grey that colors different situations. This difference is not always bad. I have realized that most people have good intentions. It is just that quite a few of thsoe with good intentions somehow get misled along the way.

It is in these grey areas and these good intentions with bad consequences, that we learn the most about ourselves and realize things that we might never have learned just by seeing and labeling situations, emotions, reasons, thought processes, etc., as black and white. It is through viewing these different areas in a grey shade we are able to come to our own conclusions about how things should, or should not - for that matter, work and/or be run.

Oh Andrea...

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin.

Because a sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,
Risen Son of God!

Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I am,
The King of glory and of grace!

One in himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God.

There is just something about a Shane and Shane song that gets me. You can feel the passion, swelling up, bursting to get out of your soul deep within. I am constantly reminded how good God is and how blessed we are to know Him and to be loved by Him.

I have been learning, this week, just how deep God loves us and cares for us. There is a lady here where I work, a resident who has some mental issues. I am not sure what exactly is going on as she does not have a case manager right now, but there is definitely something. I would say that she is off of her medications whether that means she is just refusing to take them or is out of them, I do not know. What I do know is that she has to leave by next week because we are not a facility that deals with mental illness as we do not have the means nor the capacity to deal with that type of situation. I do know that God loves her just as much as He loves me. I have come to the conclusion that I might not be the best person to work with those living with mental illness. I do know that there are many qualified people who can.

Through a series of incident's with this lady, she has come to consider me a good friend, which I am blessed by. Earlier today she offered me some of the food that was on her plate. I kindly turned her down and made sure that she was not offended by it. During that same conversation she told me that she was going to have her daughter (who is currently in foster care) buy me some fruits and vegetables and I said, "no, that is alright but thank you so much, I really appreciate it" she replied that "it's what a human should do." I was so blessed by her thought for me and her generosity! As I was leaving she told me that she loved me. :) My heart swelled with love and mercy for her.

She is still struggling with some issues right now. Earlier she called the police but wouldn't let them into her room and it has just been a complicated mess at times. I say all of that to say that God has infinite love for her. I don't know who some people are affected by mental illness while others are left untouched but I glory in the fact that eventually God is going to restore all of us to our former glory.

And, after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. [1 Peter 5:10]

All I can do for her now is try and search out places that would be beneficial for her and would truly help her to regain an astute consciousness in which she can function in society. Would you be willing to pray for this situation? I would really appreciate it. “Again, assuredly I tell you, that if two of you will agree on earth concerning anything that they will ask, it will be done for them by my Father who is in Heaven.” [Matthew 18:19]

I leave you with love, blessings, and a grateful heart.

God is still in control.

Today was an exhausting day. I am not sure if it is primarily due to the fact that I only got 5 hours of sleep or not. I will say that between the 5 hours of sleep, losing 3 of my families in the last week, having a bit of a confrontation with one of the relatives of one of the families I had to ask to leave, going to breakfast for an agency visit, having a meeting from 1-2:30, having another meeting from 3-6, a meeting from 6-6:30, I am very much qualified to be exhausted.

It's not that this line of work is physically draining, rather, it is emotionally draining.
I cannot say that it is not good, however. It definitely is rewarding, but like anything else, it takes it's toll out on you.

Pray that I would be able to seek quiet time with Jesus tonight. A refreshing that is far overdue.

Be blessed this day.

With love and blessings,
<3 me.

Psalm 23 (for the Workplace)

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
HE gently reminds me to pray and do all things without murmuring and complaining.

He reminds me that He is my source and not my job.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions that I might honor Him in all that I do.

Even though I face absurd amountsof emails, system crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, discriminating supervisors and an aging body that doesn't cooperate every morning, I still will not stop---for he is with me! His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through.

He reaises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens to let me go. His faithfulness and love is better than any bonus check

His retirement plan beats any 401k there is!
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that, I BLESS HIS NAME!!!

Author: unknown.



This is posted on the filing cabinet next to my desk. I don't read it every day but I revel in the fact that God is who I work for. To think in terms like that is what makes my job worthwhile.

Speaking of my job, I will be keeping it a little bit longer. I am staying in Denver until December at the earliest. I am praying about it, and will figure out whether I will accept a position to do the same thing I have been doing until May of next year. Please pray for me in the area of guidance as to whether this is where I should be that long. I know that as of right now, I would not accept a position with the M unless it was doing case management. Ultimately that is what I would like to do; at least for now. I love being here for clients and finding resources that are able to help them. I want to empower them to take responsibility for their own actions and as or right now, for the most part, that is what is happening. Mostly I enjoy this position very much and appreciate the fact that God has put me here to do his work in a way that I don't even understand.

In lieu of accepting this internship until December, I am going to send out support letters that are seeking both financial support as well as prayer. For me, both aspects are important. If you would like to help in either way, please comment with your address.

For right now I am seeking God in every way possible. I know that I don't always do the best job of it, but I think that life is about learning from one's mistakes and I personally know that there is always room for improvement.

Blessings to you all.
Amanda