November, can you slow down?!

HI there :)

Life has been ever busy as usual, in the good sort of way.
I am currently 3 weeks into the last class I need to get my diploma, YAY!
It is going alright. I don't have the main textbook, which causes me not to really pay attention to the class and homework in general. I need to strive to do well, though - this is imperative.

my working life is going well. I am trying to keep busy and stay on task but am finding it hard to do so. I have only 5 more weeks at this internship and then I will be done. It is crazy to beleive that I have been here for 10 months already! Time sure does fly. For the most part my clients are doing well, some of them are going through struggles, but I have faith that they will get through it with dignity. There are some that really have it rough right now, I will admit. I'm just trying to be prayerful for them and hope that they are able to have faith that God is there with them and that this is not the end.

church life is absolutely fantastic. I am getting involved with my church - Providence Bible Church - and I really really love it there. THe people are fantastic and I really love them all. I learn so much about God and about myself by hearing the word and enjoying fellowship. I am engaged in a community group through them which is fantastic. I like it a lot. I am learning even more about myself and applying scripture to my life through it. I am also in a book club through PBC with the 20-somethings. We have our first session on Sunday and I am excited to see what it is going to look like and see how we are all going to grow, not only on our own, but also together

babysitting life: I have been picking up a lot of babysitting jobs. God has really been providing for me regarding this situation. He is just awesome, and through I still need to work on not squandering away my monies, I am making progress. I just got extra money tonight. It is helping me to pay my bills and also is giving me the ability to go out with my friends on the occasion.

social life is becoming more fun. I have been going out with friends semi-regularly. I try not to spend a whole ton of money but it's hard. I'm making new friends and trying to still keep in touch with those I know from college which is mostly proving difficult - this could be due to the fact that I'm not really trying that hard... I don't know.

I am working on trying to find a job for after November. I need to stop being lazy and finish the cover letter that I am working on. I don't really have the motivation to do so :( Sad, yes. Pathetic, doubleyes. Will I get it eventually, doubleplusyes.

That is my biggest thing right now is finding a job. We'll see what the Lord brings to me...

Well, I need to go get a few hours of sleep. I will post this paper tomorrow.

with love, blessings, and a grateful heart
Ama

So we run....

hi there friends.
Sorry for the long leave of absence.

Life here at TC is going well. Case management is also going well. It is keeping me busy and I am learning alot about what a case manager is, who I become as a case manager, and who I am in general. life is taking me for a ride these days, but it is a ride that I rather enjoy.

I am learning a lot of the resources around the Denver metro area and I am making a few contacts within these agencies. Like anything else, there is always more to learn as things change in the blink of an eye. I fidn that I enjoy being able to tell people who come here looking for help places that they can go and agencies - it makes me feel good to be able to refer them to places that are actually able to help them where they are at.

Most days work goes well though there are times when I become overwhelmed and am ready to leave for the day. I was really frustrated at intake yesterday with a person's situation and what seemed like he was going to be screwed over.

A litte background information:: when it comes to transitional housing, there aren't a lot of places like TC that, if you meet the requirements, you are able to move in the same day. Granted there are times when we don't have rooms open which means a family has to wait until one comes about - but we usually have a pretty decent rate of turn-over. Right now we have like 8 rooms open, or something like that. It's pretty ridiuclous, actually. This month there haven't been a lot of people who are able to meet our qualifications and move in. We have had at least 6 rooms open for like 3 weeks.

Back to this man - he was a single dad who was just kicked out of the shelter that he was staying in. [I'll be honest, I haven't been hearing great things about this particular shelter and it has been making me not so happy.] So, he comes here and because his TANF doesn't kick in until the end of the month, and we can't take him. I think about different places that would take him and his 9 month old daughter so that they don't have to sleep out in the cold. Nothing. Not a single damn place had space to take a single father. I was fuming! Absolutely upset. So much so that I'm working myself up to tears.

Thankfully God created us to be resourceful. After much thinking, he was able to overcome the fact that he didn't like his daughter's grandmother and took her there to stay for a few days until he's able to find an organization that can voucher him into here until his TANF comes in. I was able to get one of the residents in the NLP to call over to our downtown facility and secure this man a bed for 7 days. God was really working in this situation. So, as far as I know, he is there again tonight, waiting for an agency to say they have money to move him into our residence until the 1st of next month.

I know that God has this family in his hands and that he is working on hearts and has been planning for this very moment for ages. Speaking of God doing great things, in December I am going to be participating in something so very cool! My church has put together a fundraiser for our new building & it's operating costs, Denver's Road Home & the Denver Rescue Mission, called A Night In A Box.

I am so excited to be a part of this and see God work in amazing ways. Our goal is to raise $100,000 and to be honest, I see us raising a whole lot more than that. It sounds like a lofty goal, but I have huge faith that we are going to surpass it.
I am always looking for sponsors for this. It doesn't have to be a ton of money - $5 makes a huge difference. See A Night In A Box for details :)

God has blessed me immensely through Providence. I have made great friends, been a part of fun times and see myself staying there and being a part of it for a long while. :)

Time is getting away from me and I really need to head to bed. Have a 9 o'clock meeting in the am. Yikes!

With love & blessings,
Amanda

Year 2

Today was the 2nd, anniversay if you would, of dad's passing away after a tough battle with cancer.

It strikes me, how time has gone. I took the day off and spent part of it down by the rivers that I love here in Denver. While sitting/laying there, i thought it felt a little bit like South Haven. Like I could get up and go down to gma's house and say hello. In lieu of that I wrote on her facebook wall. :)

I took time to rest and relax after sleeping in this morning. I'm not terribly sad about the day. Sure, it brings back memories thinking about pops, but I know that he is in a better place and that I will once again get to see him, someday. Whenever it is that my time comes. Both my heart and mind have come to grasp that he isn't with me. Sometimes I forget it, though. I get this urge to call him, but then I realize that it's not his phone anymore - it's Andrew's, now.

Except I forget that when Andrew calls me [okay, the one time he called me] and the name showed up as Dave Brucki. That was a little bit of a stunner, I'll be honest.

Mostly, though, days are well, even with rememberance's of him. It's definitely bittersweet. It's usually been more sweet than bitter, though.

Well, I am getting tired, though it's only 8:05. I need to make some calls, see if some people want to hang out. It's free pie night at Village Inn. YUUUMMMM!

Labor Day weekend

Fun facts about Labor Day::

x It originated in Canada, first Hamilton then Toronto [which is near Michigan!]
x The first Labor Day in the United States was celebrated on September 5, 1882 in New York City
x Due to the aftermath of the deaths of a number of workers at the hands ofthe US military and US Marshals during the 1894 Pullman Strike, legislation making Labor Day a national holiday was rushed through Congress unanimously and signed into law a mere six days after the end of the strike.
x We can thank President Cleveland for this
x All 50 states have made labor day a natl. holiday
x Traditionally, Labor Day is celebrated by most Americans as the symbolic end of the summer. The holiday is often regarded as a day of rest and parades.
x some view it as the last weekend for parties before returning to school.
x Labor Day marks the beginning of the NFL and college football seasons
x Alternatively, Labor Day traditionally occurs on the first Monday in September

I enjoy labor day and all the things there are to do on this day.
Some places have parades, fireworks, etc.
It usually involves a big day of party.
Cooking out, laughing, playing games - it's the last big HURRAH! of summer, afterall.
Unless you have an Indian Summer.

:: Charaterised by sunny, warm weather in autumn, not long before winter. Usually occurring after the first frost, Indian summer can be in September, October, or November in the northern hemisphere.
:: In the northern U.S. state of Minnesota, for example, warm Indian summer weather generally occurs earlier, in mid October rather than early November.
:: value for determining whether an Indian summer is occurring is that the weather must be above 21°C (70°F) for seven days after the autumnal equinox
:: in the South as elsewhere, this period is more commonly known as the dogdays, in reference to the appearance of Sirius – the "Dog Star" – to the Ancient Greeks
:: Joe Walsh has a song called "Indian Summer" on the 1978 album "But Seriously, Folks..."
:: Pedro the Lion included a song called "Indian Summer" on their album Control.
:: Mandy Moore has a song called "Indian Summer" off her new album "Amanda leigh" [I hope this album is good, it is, after all, named after me!]
:: "Indian Summer" (the movie) was produced and written by Mike Binder in 1993.
:: Brooks & Dunn have a single released in 2009 called "Indian Summer".

I LOVE Indian Summers. It is my favorite time of year, by far! The leaves are turning colors, some are falling off by this time, and the weather is just as fabulous as ever. It's such a glorious time! The sun comes back out and you crave being outside. I hope they have Indian Summers here in Denver...!

Right now the weather is still wondrous, but I haven't been out in it as much as I would like.
The sun goes down ridiculously early here because of the moutains.
I don't appreciate that at all. The weather here is usually nice, though.
It is hard to believe it is already the 4th day of September.
I can feel this month is going to pass quickly.
The 16th makes it 2 years since Pops has passed.
Time really does fly.

I hope that I have a lot to do this Labor Day weekend.
I am too extorverted to spend as much time with myself as I have already.
I need energy and excitement.
People, friends, family, church, etc.
I have to get out and about.
I still need to do more things!

with love, blessings and a thoughtful heart,
.:Amanda:.

Life never slows down.

There is always going to be ebb and flow when it comes to living.

Coming and going;
beginning and ending;
hello and goodbye.

It's a never ending cycle.
But there is always beauty.
Even in the hard times.

How does one find beauty in family failure.
In a wife cheating on her husband.
And producing a child.
What about the four children the couple shares?

This family tragedy is one that I see again and again in our society.
It's sad how often this seems to happen.
This happened to one of our families.
Today the whole building saw the fermented fruits of this failing relationship.

It's hard to know how to deal with something like this if you've never been privy to this happening with anyone you know before.
It's not so hard, if you've seen it with your own eyes and experienced it with your own heart.
It feels like there is never anything you can say to the person on the opposite end who has had to suffer through this.
They will never understand it.
It's possible to try, but it's almost always incomprehensible.

We said goodbye, tried her hand at magic
We couldn't make us disappear
Not a day goes by, I don't wish I had you
So run away, I'm glad you're still here

It's a bitter sweet victory
Lovin' the ghost in front of me

Now I can't laugh, can't cry
And I can't run, can't hide

What do I gotta do?
What do I gotta do to keep you?
What do I gotta do to keep you
From doin' this to me?

I wrote a couple of notes
One in love, one in anger
They're lyin' there
Dyin' in the dresser drawer

Lived louder than my voice
Struggled through a stranger
He loved me
Till I loved you even more

It's a bitter sweet victory
Lovin' someone else who wanted me

Now I can't laugh, can't cry
And I can't run, can't hide
You get used to the pain and numb to the sting
Till you can't feel anything

You tried to explain, but I couldn't hear it
As if your words were my tears
Flowin' freely, warm and quiet
From the edges of my eyes and my ears
Then all that disappears

Now I can't laugh, can't cry
And I can't run, can't hide
Now I can't laugh, can't cry
And I can't run, can't hide

What do I gotta do?
What do I gotta do to keep you?
What do I gotta do to keep you
From doin' this to me?

Two sides to every coin

It's interesting to me that since I've been an intern here in Denver that I've not been able to get away from the homeless population. This, by no means, is a bad thing, it's just something that has stuck out to me in a big way. Not only do I work with the homeless, I live with them and I go to church with them.

Tonight I had a great time at church. I went to a leadership class there and we focused mainly on the fact that Community is central to the Christian identity. How truthful is that? Don't we classify ourselves by whom we hang out with. Life is all about community in both christian and secular settings. Even God is in community with the Trinity. We crave community in friends, family, husbands and wives, etc.

We focused tonight on what it means to facilitate discussion groups. Tonight was a leadership group targeted towards those who would like to take on the role of leadership within out church. I love the church [the church is the people not the meeting place] and I would like to at least be able to take on the role of a leader when necessary or when prompted. I enjoyed the 3 hour group.

One of the main activities we did towards the end of the night. was to "practice" facilitating a group discussion. So we met in groups of 4 and each of us picked a question out of a list provided and did the "facilitation" of the question. This list of questions was pretty intense. The four questions we asked were
..."Where do you draw the line between helping people and showing them how to help themseves? How do you strike a balance"
..."To what extent is your view of God influenced by your view of your father?"
..."How would you prefer to die - quickly without warning or slowly over time?"
..."What is the ideal age to get married? Why?"

The answers given by each member [including the senior pastor] were very interesting and insightful. For instance, the one about dying was particularly involved and revealing of one's character. I believe that the other three said they would prefer to die quickly. I, because of the situation with Pops [my dad] and him dying of cancer, chose to die slowly over time. One has to think a long time about this question. For me, it was simple. I remember how much I appreciated those last months with Pops and all the talks we got to have, the questions I was able to ask and get answers for, and the ability to have some sort of closure. Did dying slowly suck, absolutely. Did it pain me to the depths; Yes. But, was is worth it? Like nothing else.

I asked the last question in the group about drawing the line, and it was a great discussion and very thought provoking. God is a great God and really drove the point home.

Earlier in the session, I was outside with Teresa, from CH, and we were talking about how this seminar was pertinent to our lives and how she doesn't think this is the right church for her because they don't believe in having women pastors and teresa has felt the calling to be a youth pastor from her high school days and knows she wouldn't be able to do that here. Needless to say, she was feeling discouraged.

While we were out talking, a homeless lady came up to us asking for money. Teresa gave her a dollar. I had some money in my wallet in the meeting place but didn't want to give her any. All she was asking for was money - not food or water and I have learned from past experiences that homeless people who do that are not looking for nourishment, they are looking for drugs or alcohol.

Anyway, I went inside to get her some pepsi and brought it out to her. She asked what was going on inside and we told her and she decided to go inside. I'm glad she did. After all of that, while I was asking this question she came up to our group and asked Jay [the pastor] for some help - some money. Sadly, it was a great example to the question of how to draw that line. I suggested that in order to draw that line, you have to question the need of the person you would like to help. You almost have to do some background digging. Is this person honest, truthful and earnest about what they need and why they need it. Does this person desire to change? Or will they just use you until they find someone else?

The way that God teaches is often bewildering. He likes to throw real life situations into the mix and make us deal with it.

Question to take into consideration:
...When does the end justify the means?

"Blessed are those who dependo n the God of Jacob for help.
Blessed are those who put their hope in the Lord their God.
He is hte maker of heaven and earth and the ocean.
He made everything in them.
The Lord reminas faithful forever
He stands up for those who are beated down.
He gives food to hungry people.
The Lord sets prisoners free.
The Lord gives sight to those who are blind.
The Lord lifts up those who feel helpless.
The Lord loves those who do what is right.
The Lord watches over the outsiders who live in outr land.
He takes good care of children whose fathers have died.
he also takes good care of widows.
But he causes evil peopel to fail in everyhting they do.
-Psalm 146:3-9

with love, blessings and a grateful heart

when God works through us to touch another

Today I learned a lot about how God's timing is perfect.

I have a resident [Sarah*name has been changed] here who needed rental assistance - a money voucher to pay a portion of her rent here. She told me about this last week and in turn I gave her an application to one of the local organizations [HHH] that pay for 25% of the rent if the tenant pays for the other 75%.

I played phone tag with a lady at HHH and never really got anywhere. During this time I had Sarah* breathing down my neck because I was not replying to her phone calls [which I got about 3 times a week, sometiems even twice a day]. I had told her that when I knew something I would give her a call and since I still didn't know anything, I didn't call her regarding it.

Today, after about a week and a half of playing phone tag with , I finally gave in and decided to give the HHH lady my email address over the phone. That finally did the trick! She emailed me very soon after that to tell me that she had just phoned in the order to cut the check for Sarah*. I was so relieved for this! Today, Sarah's* rent was due. She just started a new job as a teacher and because of the school's start date, Sarah* doesn't have an income for the month of July [basically]. If this voucher had not come in, Sarah* [and her two children] would have been asked to leave for at least 30 days.

I called Sarah* to let her know the fantastic news and she was so thankful for this provision.

Praise God that his timing is always perfect, even when we have to wait until our last minute to receive his giftings. It's not good to doubt, but there is always a certain curiosity when it comes to having things one needs provided for as to when it is going to come through.

with love, blessing and a joyful heart