ME 517 GG

I have a picture of a boat. It is next to my desk, on top of the AC unit. There are two boats actually. Of the old rowing style. The water is calm, as if it is glass. I can see three oars in the white boat. The oars, like the boat itself, are wooden. It's a picture of a simpler time, a time when taking a day off work to go fishing was no big deal. When being on the water, without a motor was enjoyable and relaxing. The reflection of the boat on the water is wavy, reminding me that just because something looks picturesque, doesn't mean that life is always calm.

Below the surface, which I cannot see, I am positive that there are hundreds of fish swimming around, waiting for their next bit of food; wherever that comes from. There are water plants that have been growing for thousands of years, which still do not come to the surface. I keep wanting to look past the mat board to see what lies past the boats on this lake. Is it surrounded by weeping willows? Are there other people on the lake? Housings with windows that overlook this lake? Questions are endless as I bask in the glory that I have known before and that I wish I could find here in Colorado.

Glory of a God that created all things. I see this in the mountains and in the way the rain puddles up on the rough, cracked pavement and blacktop, waiting to flow downstream to bask in the softness of the grass. I see it in the people I work with everyday, those with spirits that are looking for refreshment and which are longing for love. A glory that brings to light how much God loves us and how much he longs to be with us. A love that shines down on us with glimpses of grace and mercy from our lover up above. One which reminds us just what it cost to capture us and set us free, to rescue us from the chains and heartaches that we are all too used to.

This is the place where I realize that everything is so much bigger than myself. This is where I attempt to grasp just what that means for my life, my will, my spirit. How do I go from here, a changed person, and live life like I have been changed. What does that mean for me? As a friend, daughter, sister, lover, acquaintance, and more. I don't know. Perhaps I will never know, but I can't stop trying to figure it out. I have to pursue this change, this difference.

This is me, attempting to become more vulnerable, dependent, gracious, loving, kind, gentle, firm, agreeable, and through it all learning to lean on my God whose yoke is easy and burden is light.