Oh Andrea...

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin.

Because a sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,
Risen Son of God!

Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I am,
The King of glory and of grace!

One in himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God.

There is just something about a Shane and Shane song that gets me. You can feel the passion, swelling up, bursting to get out of your soul deep within. I am constantly reminded how good God is and how blessed we are to know Him and to be loved by Him.

I have been learning, this week, just how deep God loves us and cares for us. There is a lady here where I work, a resident who has some mental issues. I am not sure what exactly is going on as she does not have a case manager right now, but there is definitely something. I would say that she is off of her medications whether that means she is just refusing to take them or is out of them, I do not know. What I do know is that she has to leave by next week because we are not a facility that deals with mental illness as we do not have the means nor the capacity to deal with that type of situation. I do know that God loves her just as much as He loves me. I have come to the conclusion that I might not be the best person to work with those living with mental illness. I do know that there are many qualified people who can.

Through a series of incident's with this lady, she has come to consider me a good friend, which I am blessed by. Earlier today she offered me some of the food that was on her plate. I kindly turned her down and made sure that she was not offended by it. During that same conversation she told me that she was going to have her daughter (who is currently in foster care) buy me some fruits and vegetables and I said, "no, that is alright but thank you so much, I really appreciate it" she replied that "it's what a human should do." I was so blessed by her thought for me and her generosity! As I was leaving she told me that she loved me. :) My heart swelled with love and mercy for her.

She is still struggling with some issues right now. Earlier she called the police but wouldn't let them into her room and it has just been a complicated mess at times. I say all of that to say that God has infinite love for her. I don't know who some people are affected by mental illness while others are left untouched but I glory in the fact that eventually God is going to restore all of us to our former glory.

And, after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. [1 Peter 5:10]

All I can do for her now is try and search out places that would be beneficial for her and would truly help her to regain an astute consciousness in which she can function in society. Would you be willing to pray for this situation? I would really appreciate it. “Again, assuredly I tell you, that if two of you will agree on earth concerning anything that they will ask, it will be done for them by my Father who is in Heaven.” [Matthew 18:19]

I leave you with love, blessings, and a grateful heart.

God is still in control.

Today was an exhausting day. I am not sure if it is primarily due to the fact that I only got 5 hours of sleep or not. I will say that between the 5 hours of sleep, losing 3 of my families in the last week, having a bit of a confrontation with one of the relatives of one of the families I had to ask to leave, going to breakfast for an agency visit, having a meeting from 1-2:30, having another meeting from 3-6, a meeting from 6-6:30, I am very much qualified to be exhausted.

It's not that this line of work is physically draining, rather, it is emotionally draining.
I cannot say that it is not good, however. It definitely is rewarding, but like anything else, it takes it's toll out on you.

Pray that I would be able to seek quiet time with Jesus tonight. A refreshing that is far overdue.

Be blessed this day.

With love and blessings,
<3 me.

Psalm 23 (for the Workplace)

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
HE gently reminds me to pray and do all things without murmuring and complaining.

He reminds me that He is my source and not my job.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions that I might honor Him in all that I do.

Even though I face absurd amountsof emails, system crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, discriminating supervisors and an aging body that doesn't cooperate every morning, I still will not stop---for he is with me! His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through.

He reaises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens to let me go. His faithfulness and love is better than any bonus check

His retirement plan beats any 401k there is!
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that, I BLESS HIS NAME!!!

Author: unknown.



This is posted on the filing cabinet next to my desk. I don't read it every day but I revel in the fact that God is who I work for. To think in terms like that is what makes my job worthwhile.

Speaking of my job, I will be keeping it a little bit longer. I am staying in Denver until December at the earliest. I am praying about it, and will figure out whether I will accept a position to do the same thing I have been doing until May of next year. Please pray for me in the area of guidance as to whether this is where I should be that long. I know that as of right now, I would not accept a position with the M unless it was doing case management. Ultimately that is what I would like to do; at least for now. I love being here for clients and finding resources that are able to help them. I want to empower them to take responsibility for their own actions and as or right now, for the most part, that is what is happening. Mostly I enjoy this position very much and appreciate the fact that God has put me here to do his work in a way that I don't even understand.

In lieu of accepting this internship until December, I am going to send out support letters that are seeking both financial support as well as prayer. For me, both aspects are important. If you would like to help in either way, please comment with your address.

For right now I am seeking God in every way possible. I know that I don't always do the best job of it, but I think that life is about learning from one's mistakes and I personally know that there is always room for improvement.

Blessings to you all.
Amanda

ME 517 GG

I have a picture of a boat. It is next to my desk, on top of the AC unit. There are two boats actually. Of the old rowing style. The water is calm, as if it is glass. I can see three oars in the white boat. The oars, like the boat itself, are wooden. It's a picture of a simpler time, a time when taking a day off work to go fishing was no big deal. When being on the water, without a motor was enjoyable and relaxing. The reflection of the boat on the water is wavy, reminding me that just because something looks picturesque, doesn't mean that life is always calm.

Below the surface, which I cannot see, I am positive that there are hundreds of fish swimming around, waiting for their next bit of food; wherever that comes from. There are water plants that have been growing for thousands of years, which still do not come to the surface. I keep wanting to look past the mat board to see what lies past the boats on this lake. Is it surrounded by weeping willows? Are there other people on the lake? Housings with windows that overlook this lake? Questions are endless as I bask in the glory that I have known before and that I wish I could find here in Colorado.

Glory of a God that created all things. I see this in the mountains and in the way the rain puddles up on the rough, cracked pavement and blacktop, waiting to flow downstream to bask in the softness of the grass. I see it in the people I work with everyday, those with spirits that are looking for refreshment and which are longing for love. A glory that brings to light how much God loves us and how much he longs to be with us. A love that shines down on us with glimpses of grace and mercy from our lover up above. One which reminds us just what it cost to capture us and set us free, to rescue us from the chains and heartaches that we are all too used to.

This is the place where I realize that everything is so much bigger than myself. This is where I attempt to grasp just what that means for my life, my will, my spirit. How do I go from here, a changed person, and live life like I have been changed. What does that mean for me? As a friend, daughter, sister, lover, acquaintance, and more. I don't know. Perhaps I will never know, but I can't stop trying to figure it out. I have to pursue this change, this difference.

This is me, attempting to become more vulnerable, dependent, gracious, loving, kind, gentle, firm, agreeable, and through it all learning to lean on my God whose yoke is easy and burden is light.

Long time, no what...?

No blog - that's what.

More often than not I realize that I don't really fancy this blog writing like I think I should. Whether that stems from not know what to write, or I guess in my case not knowing how much (or how liitle) to write. I'm a bad blogger, this is true.

I am finding life to be busy. I think it has always been busy, I am just starting to realize it a little more. Saturdays tend to be my sleep-in-and-not-do-anything days. It's nice to be able to get some sleep and not worry about when I need to get up. Those days are the best.

This getting up and being to work by 9am has never been my thing, and I'm worried it never will. It's not that I wouldn't like to not have to be to work by 9, it's the fact that there are so few jobs that give me the ability and opportunity to come in later. I think my ideal work day would be 10-6. Yup, that's it. Long enough to be able to stay out late at night and early enough to feel productive.

I have been living life in the fast lane as of late. I have been doing a lot of thigns at work - it is very time consuming. I love what I do but I understand how easy it is to get burnt out. It's easy to give and give and give of yourself, but if I am not filling myself up then I will soon be useless. I have had a fair share of clients come and go already. It's crazy to think that I've only been doing this for a little over 2 months. This job causes time to feel like it goes so quickly.

But it's hard to leave something that you love to do.

I have come to love each and every resident here. They all bring something special to the table. On that note, could you pray for me? I have asked to be able to stay until the end of the year. I will find out by the end of the month (which is in a week and a half)! I want to stay here only if it is where I am supposed to be and if this is what I am supposed to be doing. If I am not supposed to be here I have been praying for a door to be slammed in my face.

I would love to stay here and continue to do what I do and discover more about myself through all of this, but I know that sometimes I want to do things that I am not supposed to be doing. I just want a clear and definitive answer.

If the answer will be no I pray that I would find something else I love to do, that an option would be open in front of my face and that I would feel it and be passionate about it.

If the answer is yes I will be sending out financial support letters to friends and family. I am not expecting anything out of them. If family and friends have extra money to send and indeed want to send me money then I will take what I am offered. I ask that I would not become greedy about the money. It is just hard only making $150 a month and being able to maintain a checking account as well as even think about putting money into a savings account. The LORD my God knows what I need and I am sure that he will provide it.

All in all, things are going extremely well here.

Life is blossoming before my eyes. Friendships are being made and living is pretty swell, as well.


I will attempt to post more, on a more regular basis.

For now I leave you with love.


Blessings <3

Forever your girl

I love 80s music. Why does it have to be sooo fun?!

I don't have too much of an update, but I just wanted to post a little, "HI!" to all of your lovely faces! It's crazy how fast time goes, I'm coming home in less than 2 weeks and the more I think about it the more excited and anxious I become for it!

I would like to have a lot of fun while I am there, even if it may mean breaking some concept rules. I just won't tell anyone, especially not Rebecca Kelch ;)
But for real, I am so EXCITEDDDD!!!!!!

I am getting my hair cut, colored and styled tomorrow - hopefully! I don't see a reason why I would not get it done, but it may not come about. I'm letting James do whatever he would like to it. I have no preference. none. Just something FUN!

I should be working on a paper but I am not a little high-strung. I need to release some of the energy. I may stay up pretty late tonight; I really need to bang this paper out! Tis the truth! I wish I had some sort of chatting function to use and talk with people I miss right now. That's one thing that gets me the most frustrated is not being in the loop with regards to people's lives.

Indeedey so. :D

Anyway, I should go and do something, like hw preferably!

Blessings & lots of LOVE!

Play Your Part

"someday we'll all have perfect wings..."
I've picked up on the fact that I have not been living life daily. There are times when I do, don't get me wrong, but the whole line about me wanting to live life daily on a daily basis has not been following suit.

I wish I had more evidence to back this up with. However, I do not. I have not been working on my humongo welfare paper. It's not a good thing. Bonnie hasn't written me back yet and it's very frustrating because I need to know if I am on top of it or if I am not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. It's really becoming a pain in my ass.

The work week last week was really good. Wednesday wa a busy day. I had two meetings with new cases. It went well, for sure. On Thursday I had yet another CM meeting and I did it all by myself! It felt so good to be released from people sitting in on my meetings. Granted, I wanted them to, but to do a meeting all by myself was wonderful. After that I went to a Family2Family meeting put on by one of the agencies around here. It was nice to be able to network a little bit and just see the other agencies who are around here.

Thursday night I went John's (a house manager who used to be an intern of my friend Ashley's) small group for the second time and I really enjoyed it. It makes me wish I was able to go more; I don't know when I'll be able to go next... :( Ashley spoke at the small group this week. Ashley went to Columbine and was a sophomore during the shootings. She has an amazing story and I was honored to be able to hear it once again. It reminds me that God is still in control. After she was done talking we stayed for a couple hours longer at John's house talking and relaxing. Ash is going through a rough time at work right now and she's not sure when it is going to end. Her and John talked about it a lot; it was nice that they were able to share the experience since John was an intern in this specific program before.

Friday was a decent day. I went out that night, and was I ever glad for that. We went to this little bar downtown-ish called Charlie Brown's [it reminded me of all of the people who did Zeke's Ride]. I went with Ash and Crystal (my roommate) as well as 1 other girl and 3 guys from church. I think the thing I appreciated the most about it was seeing that there doesn't have to be a dichotomy between drinking responsibly and Jesus. We actually witnessed to a guy who was there. It was pretty cool actually. This guy had some things in common with Mike, one of the kids from my church, so they were able to lay some ground work. It was good. Besides that, we had a lot of opportunities to get to know one another better. We shared some of our best awkward & embarassing moments.

I never fully realized that I don't really have any embarassing moments. It's intriguing really. How can I not have embarassing moments? I did finally have one just yesterday! I was coming out of the front office after sitting in a chair to get a drink of water. I made it from the office to the drinking fountain and finally my friend Jim told me that my dress was stuck in my leggings. Praise Jesus for the fact that I was actually wearing leggings. It would have been really embarassing had I not been! :)

I'm working on studying for my clep exam that I will take a week from tomorrow. I ask for your prayers that I would be able to pass the test because I have studied well. !

On that segway - I'm going to get back to studying now.

Blessings!